I’m really not the number one salt fish in Soul Society - Chapter 178
Chapter 179
“In the eight hundred and three years of Infernal Affairs, I have been thinking.
She said softly:”Is my idea too extreme?” Is there a better way? What’s the point of having to fight even though you can spend the rest of your life peacefully… Guess what my answer is?”
Mizhen raised his eyebrows and asked tentatively:”You don’t regret it at all?”
“very close. Shikatori Baunsai laughed,”My answer is… I haven’t done enough.””
Mizhen rolled his eyes:”You’ve made it impossible for me to answer the phone.……”
But…it’s not surprising.
After the Quincy War, Shikatori Baunsai once again fell into the loneliness of childhood.
Of course, she has many people with whom she can communicate, including her colleagues who are still alive and the subordinates of the Eighth Division. But these people can be her”acquaintances” or her”friends”, but they cannot become her”friends”.”Best Friend”.
Friendship is such an unreasonable thing. It’s not that others have wronged Shikatori Hatsuunsai. In fact, as the first generation captain, she enjoys an extremely high reputation. After the war, she also served as captain in addition to her status as captain. After receiving the teachings of Zhenyang Spiritual Arts Academy, in the past few decades, there have been many achievements, and the honor and money have become meaningless values.
But as Aizen said, longing is the furthest distance from understanding.
The first-generation captains, who had a close friendship with each other, also left one by one. Among the six who survived, Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto led the Seireitei, and Unohana Hachisen-ryu was renamed”Retsu”. They gradually became less concerned with worldly affairs and carried out their duties. Nobu Tsuna died of serious illness, Kumen Ii Yantie committed suicide, Yan Yuan Jinle disappeared, and Shikatori Ba Yunzai secretly turned against him. In the end, this group of first-generation captains who were both killers and guardians did not One person can spend the rest of his life peacefully, each with his or her own misfortunes
“Genryusai… just did what he could. I didn’t criticize his position. Yachiru had her pain, and I couldn’t get involved.”
“I don’t hate the team members. They admire my abilities, so they look at me warmly. This will bring a sense of honor, and this sense of honor will also benefit me – but they can’t understand me. They don’t know. What do I rely on to survive… Frankly speaking, Shunsui is aware of it, but his position is completely different from mine. Even if he understands me, it doesn’t make much sense.”
As he spoke, Shikatori Baunsai suddenly changed the subject. He turned around and locked his eyes on Mizhen. After a moment of silence, he said:”After watching it for so long, do you mind if I ask you about your viewing experience?”
Mizhen, who knew the important point was coming, nodded calmly:”Well…it depends on the specific aspect.
Shikatori Ba Yunzhai tilted his head:”It’s nothing, just treat it as… a test?””
Mizhen smiled slightly:”The quality of the test will be reflected in rewards and punishments. I wonder what senior has prepared for me?”
“It’s not about punishment. Even if you don’t answer well, I won’t be angry, and the contents of the contract will remain the same. She tapped her chin with her finger, then moved it to the heart on her chest, and pressed lightly there,”But if you answer well… I will consider ‘helping you with all my heart’, how about that?” A pretty good deal, right?”
“It seems that I have to work hard to answer the questions.”
Mizhen showed a little more excitement:”Ask, senior.”
“Now you know my origins and story. I have told you the reasons for my actions before.”
Shikatori Baunsai stretched out his right hand in front of Mizhen, took one of his hands, and kept the fingers intertwined.
It was a somewhat ambiguous movement, but neither party had the time to think about it.
Mizhen didn’t feel that her spiritual pressure was connected to anything, which meant…she didn’t use her ability.
“So the question is……”Shikatori Baunsai looked into Mizhen’s eyes with cold eyes, and then asked calmly,”What kind of state of mind pushed me to that point?”
Mizhen didn’t think about it, but just sighed imperceptibly..
The subtext of Shikatori Hatsuunsai… No, this is completely clear.
“If you understand me, I will be your companion.”
It is not a”partner”, but a”companion.”
The reason for her choice is not that Mizhen helped her in times of crisis. In fact, the real The reason is not difficult to guess. The history played on the screen has already told him the answer.
“If you don’t feel ashamed to say it from my mouth, senior, I will be happy to answer.”Mizhen put more force on the interlocked fingers,”Well… this is a quite complicated question. Let me explain it one by one.”
“At the beginning, it was fear – your father was like a sword hanging above your head, which could kill you at any time, so after confirming your ability, you killed the source of fear. , respond to this fear with anger”
“Then there is emptiness. You walk into a troubled world with nothing but strength. The sense of security with a sword in your hand makes you no longer afraid, but you also fall into a ‘vacuum’ that no one dares to approach – said After all, although the environment you grew up in is quite weird, you are still a ‘normal person’ who needs to socialize. It is impossible to live in the blood pool hell like Captain Unohana. However, the world a thousand years ago was too cruel, and the only people who came to you were Trouble and desire, so you once again chose to respond to these malice with anger. Fame and wealth are just incidental.”
Speaking of this, Shikatori Baunsai’s expression showed a subtle change.
“Then, you were recruited into the Gotei 13 by Captain Yamamoto. The goodwill led by Captain Saito…well, although it is a bit abstract, let’s just regard those things as goodwill. Those goodwill made your emptiness gain. A little satisfaction – As a result, this satisfaction did not last long before being destroyed by the Quincy, so you were angry like never before, but this anger was destined to end in vain, because in the eyes of people at the time, Yhwach had already Even if you die, you won’t even find someone to vent to.”
“Well said, very spicy.”Shikatori Baunsai sighed. Although the movements were small, she did clenched her fists slightly.”The battlefield is a matter of life and death after all, so I have no intention of condemning Yhwach, I just purely want to kill him. That’s all – but you are right, at the time, it seemed that Yhwach was already dead, so it was useless no matter how angry I was.”
Mizhen nodded and continued:”Then… Let’s go back a little bit. You are from a poor background, but you don’t need to be flattered, so you and the nobles are naturally unable to sit together – after all The reason for your misfortune in childhood is essentially the chaos caused by the backlash of millions of years of aristocratic rule. Of course, the existence of Captain Saito is an exception, but it is this exception that makes you more and more dissatisfied with the aristocracy, because she It is a tool introduced by the nobles, or a victim, used to test the weight of the new system. You and she are friends, and of course you will be dissatisfied because of the misfortune that your friend has suffered, so you hate Forty Six even more. room”
“So far, the conclusions are accurate.”Shikatori Ba Yunzhai lowered his eyes,”If the full score is one hundred points, you have already obtained sixty points.”
“Thank you so much for the compliment.”Mizhen smiled,”As for the end…I’ll tell you straight away, the reason why you launched the rebellion is obvious.��‘anger’”
“To express anger…?”
“Judging from the performance I saw, you said that you ‘can’t stand idiots without self-awareness’. This is of course true. Your Rukongai career has cultivated such a character, but this is definitely not the reason why you launched a rebellion—— At least it’s not the main reason”
“Because you obviously prefer a pure life, to be precise, a pure life with your friends, so if Captain Saito is still alive, you will never do anything to assassinate Room 46, but will find an opportunity Resign and retire”
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“Elderly care… is a bit much.”Shikatori Baunsai retorted with a meaningless detail,”I used the Great Pact of Ten Thousand Transformations to gain the lifespan of many prisoners. Even if I don’t do anything, I still have thousands of years to live.”
“Awesome.”Mizhen’s mouth twitched twice, and then he returned to the topic,”Captain Saito and some of his good friends are dead, so there is no room for your first idea to be realized, so naturally you can only retreat. Secondly, to eliminate some idiots who can’t stand your sight – obviously… because of your childhood experience and the influence of Captain Saito, you set your target on Room 46, which led to the subsequent rebellion.”
“Snap, snap, snap.”
Shikatori Baunsai clapped her hands.
She looked at Mizhen with a little bit of relief in her eyes, and then she leaned back, slumped on the armchair, and said softly with her eyes closed.
“Very well said, full marks.”
Although she hid it well, Mizhen still saw the subtle glint of water flashing in the corner of her eyes.
Just thinking about it makes her so desperate – from childhood to adulthood, a person has almost no emotions in more than three hundred years. I laughed sincerely. What she longed for was not much, just purity and friendship, but she had it and lost it, and in the end she didn’t catch anything.
The content of Shikatori Baunsai’s rebellion was played on the screen – it was very sunny One day, she ignored the work arranged by Old Man Shan, broke into the meeting room of Room 46 in broad daylight, and killed nearly half of the members of Room 46 in an instant in front of seven captains. , and then was subdued by the old man Shan and Uozhihua who had reacted.
This confirmed Mizhen’s speculation.
Did she really need to assassinate Room 46 in such a stupid way? With her ability, she could stand outside the city wall She calmly squeezed those old guys to death one by one. Why did she need to get close to that distance?
There is only one answer… She did it for her only two remaining friends.
Although it is not as profound as Saito’s immortality, but Old Man Shan and Unohana are still her friends. Although she has the ability to stand in the distance and kill all the 46 rooms, but that means destroying the hard work of the first generation captains with her own hands and kicking Soul Society into pieces. She stepped into the dark and chaotic world.
If she didn’t kill, she would feel unhappy. If she killed, her conscience would be uneasy, as if whatever she did was wrong.
In the end…she chose the most inefficient way.
It was more like self-surrender than assassination. Snare.
Use this form to end…or escape from your own troubles.
The so-called”I haven’t done enough” does not mean that you regret that you did not succeed in the assassination, but that you are not strong enough to escape from this trouble.
After escaping from prison The same thing is true. As long as she wants, as long as the people in Room 46 are within the coverage of her spiritual pressure, she can make them explode at any time, but…she can really destroy the old man Shan who has worked hard to maintain it for more than a thousand people. The order of the year?
I’m afraid not.
So she once again chose to escape, unable to express her anger, and came to Mizhen. Therefore
, the reason why she chose to tell him these things is also obvious.
Seeking recognition, or saying…Understood.
But in the next moment, Shikatori Batunsai’s words startled Yazhen.
“You must be thinking that the reason why I tell you this is because I am lonely and seeking recognition and understanding.”
Damn it, the old man can actually read minds?
“Judging from your expression, I must have guessed it right.”
Shikatori Ba Yunzhai looked at him with a half-smile and said:”Of course, I don’t deny that there is this factor, but it is not all.”
“cough……”Mizhen coughed dryly to resolve the embarrassment,”I’d like to hear the details.””
“Very simple. Shikatori Ba Yunzhai gave the answer readily,”You are a good person.””
Mizhen:”?”
He was a little overwhelmed when he was suddenly issued a card, so he scratched his head and asked:”Good person? Me?””
“We’ve talked many times over the past few months.”Shikatori Ba Yunzhai said leisurely,”From the details of your words and your taste in picking books, I judge that you are a good person – very simple logic, if a good person wants to subvert rather than destroy something, he must have already thought about how to do it. How to make this thing better, otherwise I would never do it”
“Your logic is very strange.……”Mizhen took a breath of air,”So I am…a rebel with good moral character?”
“Anyway, I can’t do this.”Shikatori Baunsai continued,”If you just destroy the aristocratic system, it will cause chaos in the world. I know this, but I can’t solve him – but you are different. I can see that you have a way to rebuild after destruction. order becomes better”
“Although it can be said……”Mizhen hesitated for a moment and then told the truth,”But I’m just talking about it on paper. I haven’t practiced it in practice. I’m really not sure whether I can successfully build a better world.””
“That’s enough.”Shikatori Ba Yunzhai pursed his lips and whispered,”That’s enough.……”
“After all, the merits and demerits can only be left to future generations to judge.”Mizhen shrugged and stretched out his hand again,”So…we are friends now?”
“friend.”
Shikatori Ba Yunzhai smiled, nodded in agreement, and then held his hand.
Then the conversation changed and suddenly became inappropriate for children:”If you want to develop some other relationship, it is not impossible. After all,……”